writing

Happy New Year! #IWSG #amwriting

January 6, 2016 by admin

It’s the first Wednesday again, and time for the next monthly installment for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. This is where we writers provide support and encouragement to each other. Join us!

Thank you to this month’s co-hosts: L.G. Keltner, Denise Covey, Sheri Larsen, J.Q. Rose, Chemist Ken, and Michelle Wallace. And of course, a special thanks goes to our fearless founder and leader, Alex J. Cavenaugh! I hope you’ll visit their blogs in appreciation for their contributions to our merry band of writers.

***

January 2, 1996…twenty years ago. My then-husband and I woke up with the flu. Since we were both sick, there was no one to take care of us, and it was a nasty bug.

Three days later, he went back to work, still ailing but better. For me, though, the story was different. I didn’t get well. Day after day, week after week, month after month, I woke exhausted, my body alternating between freezing cold and burning hot, my lymph nodes swollen, my digestion disrupted.

The eventual diagnosis of CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) didn’t help, as the cause is unknown and the path to treatment unclear.

During the months in bed, I had a lot of time to think. All my life I had wanted to be a writer but always let life get in the way. Now, with my brain addled and little ability to concentrate, I wondered: was it too late? Did I squander my chance?

I don’t often “bargain” when I grieve, but this time I did. Make me well, God, and I won’t forget.

I was one of the lucky ones. Eventually, I did get well…and I didn’t forget my promise. In 1997 I found The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, which helped me get started. In October 1999 I published my first book, When a Grandchild Dies: What to Do, What to Say, How to Cope (the link is for the 15th anniversary edition).

The life changes that resulted were extraordinary, and here I am all these years later, proud to be a novelist who has completed her second novel and sent it off to industry reviewers. There’s another novel in draft form, and I am swimming in ideas for more books.

More than anything, writing has made me more whole, more authentic, happier. As a side note, when I met my current husband, I gave him a copy of When a Grandchild Dies…it made him want to get to know me better.

It took a debilitating illness for me to wake up and live. It took that moment in time, twenty years ago, when I no longer had the choice to ignore who I really was. Every day that I can write, that I do write, is a remarkable gift. Yes, writing is hard. Yes, it’s frustrating sometimes to find readers. Yes, reviews can be upsetting.

But to be writers who do not write…that is a tragedy.

My hope for you, my fellow writers, is that 2016 brings you joy, peace, health, and a wealth of ideas to explore. May you find readers who resonate with your words. May you look self-doubt and insecurity in the eye and say, “Thanks. I’m doing this anyway.”

How was your 2015? What are your dreams/goals/plans for 2016? Do tell!

What She Knew is now available for pre-order! I hope you’ll take a look. *

The Badass Trinity Part II: Elizabeth Gilbert #IWSG #amwriting

December 2, 2015 by admin

This is a week where two events collide: the First Wednesday post of the Insecure Writers Support Group, and the second of my three-part Badass series.

They go together, I promise.

On the first Wednesday of every month, the IWSG members post encouragement and support to other writers. Join us!

This month’s co-hosts are:

Sandra Hoover, Mark Koopmans, Doreen McGettigan, Megan Morgan, and Melodie Campbell

And, special thanks to Alex J Cavenaugh, the founder and fearless leader of this group.

***

Now, on to Badassery. Last week I posted Part I, in which I opined on Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes. This week, I feature another Badass: Elizabeth Gilbert.

Are you feeling discouraged, confused, or disappointed with your writing career? If so, I can offer you nothing better than Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.

Big Magic isn’t a self-help book per se. Gilbert doesn’t offer a series of exercises, nor does she give you the secret keys to success. However, as she shares her own writing journey, you’ll learn from her.

She calls Big Magic her “permission slip” to writers…the thing that says, “do it” when those sneaky, clever self-doubts threaten to upend our dreams. Most importantly, she puts our writing in perspective. Yes, it’s hard work, but so are other jobs. Yes, sometimes our writing is received more at other times than others. Yes, some days we don’t want to do it. But if we persist, we can find those moments of Big Magic.

Filled with compassion, Big Magic also provides a gentle, but loving, kick in the pants. By demystifying and deromanticizing the creative process, Gilbert makes it easier for us to approach it.

Best of all, Big Magic is beautifully written. After reading some books lately that weren’t so good, sitting down with Gilbert’s chatty, humorous, literary style felt like I’d walked into a fresh spring day. Reading it, I found myself nodding my head…a lot. I said yes, over and over. Sometimes she hit a nerve. I kept on reading because this book is pure pleasure to read.

Gilbert has strong opinions, which is why I include her in the “badass” category. She doesn’t like it when we talk of our writing as though it’s our baby. After all, what if someone tells us our baby is ugly?

She’s also not impressed by Hemingway’s counsel to “open a vein and bleed” on the page. We don’t have to suffer for our art…just apply regular practice and discipline to the process.

In short, she sticks pins in the balloons of what we’re told as writers, those things that cause us to cut and run (or, as I’ve seen a lot of lately, to whine on Facebook instead of writing).

I’ve no doubt I will turn to Big Magic over and over again when I need motivation. I hope you will, too.

Nadine Galinsky Feldman is the author of The Foreign Language of Friends and the upcoming What She Knew, available March 2016. If you enjoy this blog, please consider purchasing a book or signing up for the newsletter to learn about upcoming promotions and giveaways.

It’s IWSG Wednesday! Time for a Writer’s Rant! #IWSG

November 4, 2015 by admin

Welcome to the November installment of the Insecure Writers Support Group! This is an opportunity for us to share our doubts and insecurities, and perhaps inspire other fellow writers.

As always, thanks go to Alex J. Cavenaugh for creating this group, and this month’s co-hosts: Tyrean Martinson, Karen Walker, Denise Covey, and Stephen Tremp. Please visit their blogs if you get a chance and show ’em some love!

***

I’ve spent many years developing my craft through classes, conferences, books, and more. Someone is always opining on the best way to structure a novel, and we learn a lot of dos and don’ts in the process. If you’re like me, you agonize about the process. After three years, my latest WIP, What She Knew, is nearly ready to publish, but no doubt I will polish and fret up until the moment I send my new baby out into the world.

It’s time for some liberation. I’m going to say something I’ve never said before: stop worrying so much.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t care or that we shouldn’t try to write the best book possible. I’m not saying we shouldn’t continue to work on our skills.

However…

A few days ago I finished slogging through a Really Bad Novel. There was a clunky overuse of backstory, references so repetitive I felt as though I were being hit over the head with a hammer, characters who changed too quickly, etc.

Because I had just pulled it up on my Kindle app, I hadn’t paid attention to the author or publisher. Impatient and frustrated, I took a closer look, assuming — wrongly — that this was a self-published book.

Turns out Random House is the publisher, and the author a frequent bestseller with a large following. I then turned to the Amazon reviews, which were glowing!

Sorry, I don’t get it. This novel would never make it through a Novel Writing 101 class.

Here’s the thing, though: sometimes we let perfectionism keep us from getting our work out there. I’m really, really guilty about that (and yes, I know I’m using adverbs — so what?). Maybe you are, too.

For whatever reason, the Really Bad Novel struck a chord for many readers…so who am I to judge?

Let’s trust ourselves a little more and worry a little less. Yes, learn your craft. Yes, get an editor if you’re indie. I’m not saying put your first drafts out there. But take a breath and try not to take it all so seriously. Find a way to get your work into people’s hands. There are people who want to read your stories.

Now, back to NaNoWriMo. I will try to heed my own advice!

***

SALE: The Foreign Language of Friends is on sale for $.99 until November 7!

ANNOUNCEMENT: Next week, author Toi Thomas will sit in my blogger’s chair and discuss “Why I Decided to Write Romance.” She is on a blog tour and I understand a giveaway is involved. Here are the other stops of her tour if you’re interested:

Nov. 2^nd – Tricia Drammeh – Review

Nov. 3^rd – There For You Editing – Interview (Glorie Townson)

Nov. 3^rd – Samantha’s Books – Interview (Toi Thomas)

Nov. 4^th – Liza O’Connor – Review

Nov. 4^th – The Sunflower’s Scribbles– Interview (Glorie Townson)

Nov. 5^th – Mama Reads Hazel Sleeps – Review

Nov. 6^th – Annie Higa – Review

Nov. 7^th – The ToiBox of Words

Nov. 4^th – Is History the Agreed Upon Lie… Guest Post (A History of Romance Novels)

Nov. 7^th – The Girl with Book Lungs – Guest Post (Ageism vs. Romance)

It’s IWSG First Wednesday! NaNoWriMo is Coming Soon! #IWSG

October 7, 2015 by admin

It’s time for another “first Wednesday” posting of the Insecure Writers Support Group. On this first Wednesday of each month, we share our insecurities and hopes with each other “without appearing foolish or weak.” Please join us!

I thank Alex J. Cavenaugh for creating this group, and invite you to visit his website as well as those of our illustrious co-hosts: TB Markinson,Tamara Narayan, Shannon Lawrence, Stephanie Faris, and Eva E. Solar!

***

Recently someone asked on Facebook: NaNoWriMo, yay or nay? It invited a lively discussion. Since NaNo is just a few weeks away, I thought I would weigh in…especially since we’re talking about insecurities today, and NaNo seems to bring those up in a big way.

NaNoWriMo, for those who don’t know, is National Novel Writing Month. Held every November, it’s a writer’s version of the Boston Marathon, where we hunker down and produce a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.

I love using NaNoWriMo for first drafts, because it forces me to kick my inner censor out of the way. I also like the idea of joining with other writers who are doing the same thing. We root for each other, and give each other encouraging words when one is struggling (much like IWSG).

Critics of NaNo say new writers can be intimidated or overwhelmed, and yes, I’ve seen that happen. To that I say: NaNo will bring up your “stuff.” It will ferret out all your doubts and insecurities. If you understand what’s happening, it’s possible to move through those doubts and become more productive with your writing.

Others criticize NaNo for perceived rules. There’s only one: try to write a novel in 30 days. If you’re working on nonfiction and want to ride on the energetic coattails of NaNo energy, go for it! If you want to do a rewrite of an existing work but want the support, do that, too! There are “rebel” groups within NaNo you might want to find.

A few days ago someone was stressing because she didn’t have a book cover to post on the NaNo website. I’ve never done this! If you have a cover, great. Otherwise, don’t worry about it.

And if you don’t write 50,000 words? So what! This is your NaNo. Do what you can. Life happens. Sometimes the draft just doesn’t work. It’s fine. Some people don’t “win,” but they ended up writing more in a month than they ever did before. That’s great — and it’s enough!

If you’re a planner, yes, you can write character sketches and plot outlines. In fact, many people do a lot of preplanning.

If you’re a pantser, like I am, that’s fine, too.

Your draft will probably suck, but first drafts always do. You can fix the draft in future revisions. I’ve spent a few years fiddling with my last one. I don’t think my first draft was worse because I wrote it quickly — I think it got written because I wrote it quickly, before I could talk myself out of it.

And if you don’t want to do NaNo, that’s cool, too. You don’t have to diss it because you’re not interested, or your second cousin’s neighbor’s uncle did it and had a bad experience. Just say no, thanks, and move on. No need to knock those of us who choose to do it.

I don’t know if I’ll “win” this one by writing 50,000 words. I will show up every day at the page and do my best. I’ll engage with others on the site and soak up the support. I may even hook up with some in-person write-ins.

Showing up. Doing our best. Writing daily. Detaching from the outcome. Those principles, to me, are the real “win.”

The Incredible Writing Weekend #amwriting #novels

March 11, 2015 by admin

Trying not to get distracted by the daffodils in bloom!

A funny thing happens whenever I make a plan to do something for myself. At the last minute, the phone rings, a friend is in crisis, or some other snippet of life jumps in my face and says, “Don’t you dare!”

You don’t have to be a writer to know what I’m talking about. If you’re a busy mom who just wants to soak in a long bath, you know how hard it is to carve out the time for yourself. And yet we must, in some shape or form, or we lose ourselves.

We matter. We must tell ourselves that. We must act as if we matter. Otherwise, no one else will take our dreams seriously.

The key for me is to not let these distractions derail my plans. This past weekend, I am happy to report, I succeeded.

My husband signed up for a conference in Seattle, so I rode along with him. I planned to write all weekend. If I stayed home, I reasoned, the garden would demand some of my time. Or, I’d be too tempted to head downtown or chat with friends.

At the last minute, as always, other forces vied for my time, but I held firm. I managed to settle everything Friday evening, and posted a notice on Facebook that I wasn’t available for the rest of the weekend.

I turned off the Internet. I shut off my phone.

It was 65 degrees and sunny, but I happily stayed in the room, even drawing the curtains closed to give me a greater element of privacy. I needed this. I needed it bad(ly).

I started a little after 8:00 a.m. I set a timer for 1 1/2 hours on my iPad, selecting a fun sound (wmah! buonissimo!) to let me know when my time was up. I worked away until the timer went off, then spent some time walking on a treadmill to take a mental break.

After my walk and a shower, I did round two, this time for 1 1/4 hours, which seems to be a sweet spot for me. I completed another round and walked to the restaurant for lunch. I had thought about ordering room service, but getting out for a bit felt appropriate. It’s good to give the brain some time to process anyway.

By the end of the day, I had completed five rounds of writing, two rounds of exercise, and some yoga late in the day to unwind. The next morning I snuck in one more round of writing. I worked through some plot problems and strengthened a subplot that has become important to the story. I ended up with a net gain of more than 7,000 words, and since part of my task was to cut parts that weren’t working, I’m pretty excited about that number.

With this amount of concentrated time, I felt more in the flow of the story. Most important, after working on fatigue issues, I was grateful to have the stamina to do this.

This draft won’t be the last one. There’s still a lot of work to be done. But I have a better, more complete story now, and more than anything, I’m proud to have taken the time and protected my dreams.

Trying not to get distracted by the flowers in bloom!

Feels So Good to Finish

February 11, 2015 by admin

I don’t do “projects.” I do long-term relationships. I started my novel-in-progress more than two years ago, and it’s just now shaping up enough for me to think about sending it to an editor. Lord knows when it will be done, though I’m hoping by year-end. I’m forever walking the line between optimism and soul-crushing disappointment as I live with this story over and over and over and over again.

That’s why it’s nice to finish something, anything. And to finish a large project, well, that’s particularly exciting.

So today I reveal to you a new bedspread, a year and a half in the making. The pattern of the double wedding ring is common in quilts, but this is a knitted version. Turns out that for the cost of the yarn, I could have bought a hand-made Amish quilt, already done.

But where’s the fun in that?

The pattern for this, if you are a ~~masochist~~ dedicated knitter like I am, can be found on Ravelry. It’s easy to knit, but putting all those pieces together? Oy. 1,080 pieces make up the rings, and the assembly alone took more than six months.

As with all long-term relationships, there’s the thrill at the beginning. You can’t wait to get started and get to know each other. Each day brings new discovery and excitement, and you want to spend all your time with your new love.

Then one day, you’re sick of your beloved. The relationship isn’t as easy as you thought it would be, and you want space. Maybe you cheat, taking on a smaller project on the side, such as making sweaters for your granddog, or patchwork throws from spare yarn. You have to re-evaluate your commitment.

Yet when the relationship is real and true, though, you hang in there until you get to the other side, and you fall in love all over again. You notice how the relationship stays with you even on your worst days, waiting patiently without judgment. It’s worth all the trouble and hassle and time.

Under the bedspread at night, I am cozy and safe and secure, the same way I feel in a relationship that works. And as I enjoy the satisfaction of completion, I am buoyed again and know I can finish anything I start, even those pesky manuscripts that aren’t yet ready to release.

With our beloved, whether a person or a project, if we hang in there, we can be more than we thought we could. Safe and secure and warm, we can soar.

Do you have projects that take forever to complete? Please tell me I’m not the only one!