self-care

When we first moved to our little town in the Hudson Valley of New York State a few years ago, I hooked up with a women’s group where we danced, shared, and drank ceremonial cacao. I’d never tried the stuff before, but I loved it as well as the ceremony that went along with it.

Of course, then the pandemic happened, and group events were canceled. A few months ago I decided I could do my own ritual and have been doing it twice a week ever since. I find my little ceremony to be calming and uplifting, a way to slow down, ponder, and re-center. This helps me be more productive in the rest of my week, so I see it as an investment of time.

Ceremonial cacao is a drink made from cacao that hasn’t had the butter removed. The cacao has been lightly toasted and fermented, so it’s less processed than cocoa. There are numerous health benefits attributed to ceremonial cacao, but I don’t know how much its properties have actually been researched. I’ll just say that I feel great after I drink it. I purchase mine from Soul Lift Cacao, though there are several great sources.

Unlike, say, a cup of hot chocolate, ceremonial cacao has little to no sweetener. I put a small amount of honey in mine after the cacao cools a bit (raw honey is never meant to be cooked), but I’m moving gradually toward no sweetener. The flavor is bold because of the amount of cacao used.

Here’s how I do my personal cacao ceremony:

Before chopping the cacao, I take a good, long sniff of it. It helps set the tone for my brain that the ceremony is coming.
I gather my materials, including good, filtered water, spices such as cinnamon, vanilla, and a pinch of chili powder, and a special cup and saucer that’s fancier than my everyday teacups.
I chop the cacao into small pieces so it melts more easily. I use 1/4 cup, but if you’re starting out, start with less. Too much too soon can cause the body to rebel.
I heat the cacao with some of the water in a double boiler, heating it gradually and adding the spices.
Once it’s heated, I take it off of the stove, let it cool for a few minutes, then add the honey.
I then pour myself a cup and go to a quiet space with my planner.
For planning, I use the Dreambook Planner by Dragontree. It works great with the spirit of cacao! You may have your own favorite, but the Dreambook Planner helps me set goals and intentions, but also acknowledge gratitude and self-care.
Once I’ve settled in, I say a prayer of thanks for everyone who grows, processes, and ships the cacao to me. I also ask for guidance from angels, guides, and the Fair Folk.
I review my week to see what I’ve accomplished, what I learned, what stressed me, etc. I also look at my monthly and quarterly goals to see how I’m doing.
Next, I use this information to think about the coming week.
While I’m doing these reviews, I take small sips of the cacao after each section to let it in. I think one of the biggest benefits is the process of slowing myself down.
Once I’m finished, I give a prayer of thanks again and close the ceremony with a sip of cacao.

Since I’ve been doing this, I find myself more creative, more disciplined, and less scattered. If you feel so inclined, give it a try!

Trying not to get distracted by the daffodils in bloom!

A funny thing happens whenever I make a plan to do something for myself. At the last minute, the phone rings, a friend is in crisis, or some other snippet of life jumps in my face and says, “Don’t you dare!”

You don’t have to be a writer to know what I’m talking about. If you’re a busy mom who just wants to soak in a long bath, you know how hard it is to carve out the time for yourself. And yet we must, in some shape or form, or we lose ourselves.

We matter. We must tell ourselves that. We must act as if we matter. Otherwise, no one else will take our dreams seriously.

The key for me is to not let these distractions derail my plans. This past weekend, I am happy to report, I succeeded.

My husband signed up for a conference in Seattle, so I rode along with him. I planned to write all weekend. If I stayed home, I reasoned, the garden would demand some of my time. Or, I’d be too tempted to head downtown or chat with friends.

At the last minute, as always, other forces vied for my time, but I held firm. I managed to settle everything Friday evening, and posted a notice on Facebook that I wasn’t available for the rest of the weekend.

I turned off the Internet. I shut off my phone.

It was 65 degrees and sunny, but I happily stayed in the room, even drawing the curtains closed to give me a greater element of privacy. I needed this. I needed it bad(ly).

I started a little after 8:00 a.m. I set a timer for 1 1/2 hours on my iPad, selecting a fun sound (wmah! buonissimo!) to let me know when my time was up. I worked away until the timer went off, then spent some time walking on a treadmill to take a mental break.

After my walk and a shower, I did round two, this time for 1 1/4 hours, which seems to be a sweet spot for me. I completed another round and walked to the restaurant for lunch. I had thought about ordering room service, but getting out for a bit felt appropriate. It’s good to give the brain some time to process anyway.

By the end of the day, I had completed five rounds of writing, two rounds of exercise, and some yoga late in the day to unwind. The next morning I snuck in one more round of writing. I worked through some plot problems and strengthened a subplot that has become important to the story. I ended up with a net gain of more than 7,000 words, and since part of my task was to cut parts that weren’t working, I’m pretty excited about that number.

With this amount of concentrated time, I felt more in the flow of the story. Most important, after working on fatigue issues, I was grateful to have the stamina to do this.

This draft won’t be the last one. There’s still a lot of work to be done. But I have a better, more complete story now, and more than anything, I’m proud to have taken the time and protected my dreams.

Trying not to get distracted by the flowers in bloom!

Cacao and Creativity

The Incredible Writing Weekend #amwriting #novels