writing

Daffodils and New Beginnings

March 24, 2021 by admin

They are peeking up through the soil, these first beacons of hope for a spring after a long winter. I don’t want to wish my life away, but I dream of the day soon when vivid yellow blooms dot my largest garden bed. Right now it’s a blank slate, but after the daffodils come, it won’t be long before other green shoots emerge from the ground.

Don’t be fooled by the delicate flowers. Daffodils are tough. In my case, they survived when I didn’t get them all out of the ground in the summer. The ones I did, I forgot to replant in the fall, so they were stuck in a box in the garage. Doesn’t matter. The ones in the ground are quite happy, and the ones in the box were already sprouting, just waiting for me to tend to them.

Last week I sent The Factory Girl and the Fey to my editor for the last time. The past three months have been intense as I have combed through it over and over again, answering her questions and filling in more detail to the story. As of today, it’s the best I can do without her sharp professional eye.

Winter was the perfect time to work on the manuscript. With all the snow and cold, the last thing I wanted was to go outside, though I stole some walks on better days. Now that it’s spring, what do I plant, both in the garden and in my writing life?

There are two manuscripts vying for my attention. One has been through a few drafts and a developmental edit of the first 50 pages. The other is a rough draft, about 65 pages of initial thoughts. One is a plant that needs repotting, the other is a tiny seed just starting to sprout.

This week I will choose which to work on. Both are equally compelling to me. But one thing I have learned from daffodils, is that whatever I do will probably be just fine.

What are you planting this spring, whether in your garden or in other areas of life?

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Daffodils in Vase Image by Michi-Nordlicht from Pixabay

One More Walk with Julia

April 5, 2019 by admin

She looked sad as she moved to the front of the room. For a moment I thought I saw tears in her eyes. Turns out I was right. As author and teacher Julia Cameron took the stage, she opened by telling us about a long-time colleague of hers who had died two days before. She asked us to send prayers and then bravely began the weekend workshop.

This is the level of authenticity I have respected and admired for more than twenty years. Julia has written more than forty books, and she has never tried to present her life as perfect. In her searing memoir Floor Sample, for example, she details her challenges with mental health issues. Yet her honesty never feels self-serving or pitying. It’s life, baby, and the cure for the pain is self-compassion and making art. On that she never waivers.

Having practiced The Artist’s Way all these years, I have experience firsthand how it changes lives. When I first pulled the book off the shelf in the summer of 1997, I was a writer who didn’t know how to start writing. Previous attempts had resulted in a great deal of creative wounding, even from so-called writing teachers.

Seeing Julia again (my third time), I was still surprised at how the simple tools of Morning Pages, Artist Dates, and fill in the blank exercises could pull so much out of me. Late in the weekend I felt breathless, stripped bare. Several days later, I am still processing what happened, noticing subtle and not-so-subtle shifts…everything from deciding to order a decent blender to digging in deeper to my novel-in-progress.

As a long-time veteran, I was pleased to meet so many people who were new to the book. Some had been given a copy years before and felt like the time is now. I was able to share the many changes life had brought as a result of doing this work: several books, with more in process; a college degree at age 45; multiple new interests, including gardening; an amicable divorce (a direct result of doing Morning Pages); and a happier, healthier marriage.

For an entire weekend I got to have “real” conversations with people, tossing aside small talk and pretense in favor of what was in our hearts. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we rooted for each other’s success, regardless of our chosen art form(s).

At the end of the weekend, I felt renewed. And Julia no longer looked sad. Her blue eyes were bright and merry in spite of her grief.

For me, the workshop was a chance to see the master in action once again, and to bring my love and gratitude. I came to The Artist’s Way because I wanted to write. What I gained was that and so much more.

Delight!

March 26, 2019 by admin

When the Fair Folk, the Fae, the Fairies, showed up in the manuscript for Factory Girl, my first impulse was to shoo them away. I had an idea of what the story was about, especially since it is based in part on an actual life.

But the magic of the Fae will not be denied. As with other stories I have written, the story that wants to be told will stomp its feet and hold its breath until I pay attention. Woe be to me when I do not!

As I have finally surrendered to this development, I have moved beyond researching Scottish folk tales and into the play of it. I ordered fairy houses and other delights for my new garden. I am enjoying The Faerie Handbook: An Enchanting Compendium of Literature, Lore, Art, Recipes, and Projects by the editors of Faerie Magazine (now called Enchanted Living). Yes, there is a magazine! Who knew? I’m also reading Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee, filled with art and essays about the Fair Folk.

These new activities are activating something unusual in my ordinarily serious nature: delight. At 60, it appears I am finally reclaiming the joy of childhood.

Yesterday I added some text to Factory Girl where Jane sprouts wings for the first time. It was an extraordinary moment for me. Jane’s life is filled with challenges, and Factory Girl takes a hard look at life in industrial 19th-century Scotland. The magic of Factory Girl does not diminish the harsh realities or even make them easier to bear. Rather, it is about the curious thing that happens in our lives when great sorrow and great joy coexist side by side with each other.

Delight is not about ignoring the suffering of the world. It is about finding that which is beautiful so ugliness does not consume us. It is about finding joy that resides within us even when life is hard. It appears I still have much to learn from the Fae. I’m so looking forward to share with you what they are sharing with me!

A Writer’s Life is Many Lives #WDC18 #amwriting

August 15, 2018 by admin

As I come off this year’s Writer’s Digest Conference, I am thinking about how fortunate I am. I get to do work that I love, and when I spend time around other writers, I am among incredibly generous and supportive people. As author Steven James said during his “Story Trumps Structure” workshop, we are in a rare business where people who could be our “competition” come and share everything they know. He likened it to Apple going to Google and sharing all their secrets.

The magic, of course, is that there is no competition. Each of us has a unique story to tell, so the more of us the merrier. We don’t have to elbow anyone out of the way.

Back home, I am once again immersed in my projects. For one, I am reading about artists, particularly female and self-taught. Think Grandma Moses as one of many examples. I’m also learning to draw and watercolor. I’m not doing this because I want a new hobby, though I suspect I’ll keep at it because it’s fun. No, it’s a way to understand my main character better.

While I continue my research for that novel, I am living (in my mind) in late 19th-century Scotland. This story idea has sent me to Scotland twice and the old mills of Lowell, Massachusetts; introduced me to proletarian novelists such as Elizabeth Gaskell (think contemporaries of Dickens); and introduced me to genealogy.

When I wrote What She Knew, I studied the victims and perpetrators of the Madoff Ponzi Scheme. I was fascinated with the movers and shakers of Wall Street and what would happen if one of them actually grew a conscience.

In short, as a writer I get to live many lives. I get to play dress up and try on new identities. I get to peer inside the heads of my characters, who I grow to love as if they are real people and real friends.

This is a good life. A happy life. A fulfilled life. Last week I met a lot of wonderful writers who share this journey with me, and I am looking forward to getting to know all of you better.

Sabbatical

August 1, 2018 by admin

This is the year I turn 60. Earlier in the year, I started to ponder what I wanted for this new decade. Granted, we can’t control every aspect of our lives, especially at this age, but I wanted to create an intention for what can be a very special time. I considered taking a sabbatical, time to just “be.” I’d start it around my birthday, I reasoned.

During a meditation in April, though, the message was clear: start NOW.

What would a sabbatical look like? After all, I don’t have a day job. The kids are grown and on their own. Somehow the thought of a sabbatical from a life that’s already amazing felt, well, self-indulgent. Lazy. Selfish.

Still. Something needed to change. I needed to re-examine. Did I want to keep on writing, for example? For a few months my work had felt stale, exhausting, and no longer fun. The business of writing is something I have never enjoyed. So I decided to stop. For how long? I had no idea. I shipped two manuscripts off to editors, which got them off of my desk and allowed me to take a break.

After a bit of searching, I found the book Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break by Rachael O’Meara. Using this book as a guide, I set out on my new journey.

In the stillness and quiet that followed, I realized that I had ignored some annoying and sometimes disruptive health issues. Surprisingly, my first act of sabbatical was to seek a functional medicine doctor. This was easier said than done, so while I shopped around I changed my diet, removing gluten, dairy, and refined sugar. This brought some immediate relief, if not full recovery (yet).

Then I looked at ways to have more fun. I took a gardening class to further hone my skills. I took a botanical art class and started drawing for the first time in nearly 50 years. I signed up for cooking classes at a local restaurant. I read.

In the process, I discovered that I missed writing. By the time the first manuscript came back, I was refreshed and eager to write again.

These days my life looks much like it did pre-sabbatical, but in a sense it still continues. I have started taking social media breaks on the weekend. I am part of a meditation group that meets online every full and new moon. I make sure I take a break from exercise every week. My health and enthusiasm are returning!

As O’Meara points out in Pause, not everyone can afford to take time off. But even if it’s time to soak in a bath, or turning off the phone or television, or staying away from social media, we can all find tiny bits of time to unplug and rejuvenate. Even a few minutes of time to ourselves to rest can make a difference. Whatever happens with the arrival of this shiny new decade, hopefully I will take sabbatical rituals, big or small, along with me.

In what ways do you replenish and renew?

Feeding Time

March 29, 2016 by admin

This is the time of year when garden tasks are more of the geeky variety. I’m testing soils and making up batches of fertilizer for each of my garden beds. Some need a lot, some just a little. It’s feeding time. It’s a time of listening…to what the garden needs, to Mother Nature’s whims of rain or sun, and to my own energy levels as I reconnect with “spring muscles.”

I didn’t always understand the importance of this time. A relatively new gardener, I wanted the showy plants but didn’t like taking the time to feed the ground.

Yet when the ground is properly fed and composted, the plants grow better, it’s easier for the beds to retain moisture in the dry season, and the food I harvest is healthier. By taking time to test the soil and give each bed the foundation it needs, I will have greater abundance in the end.

I’m taking the same approach to my writing. Today is the official release date for What She Knew (though I had to make it live sooner to do a Goodreads giveaway). For months I have worked behind the scenes, getting industry reviews, setting up advertising, etc. Soon the blog tour will begin. I didn’t do this with the last novel. Hopefully with this one I will find a way above the noise and find some readers…but in any event, I have fed the soil, and the results are starting to bear fruit.

Hyacinths: blink and you miss the flowers.

Here’s to spring and to feeding time!

The Goodreads giveaway for What She Knew goes on until April 1, so it’s not too late to sign up! Also, to celebrate the paperback release of What She Knew, I’m offering the Kindle version FREE through April 1!