Nadine Feldman, Author

celebrating strong female characters and whatever else strikes my fancy

health

Cacao and Creativity

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When we first moved to our little town in the Hudson Valley of New York State a few years ago, I hooked up with a women’s group where we danced, shared, and drank ceremonial cacao. I’d never tried the stuff before, but I loved it as well as the ceremony that went along with it.

Of course, then the pandemic happened, and group events were canceled. A few months ago I decided I could do my own ritual and have been doing it twice a week ever since. I find my little ceremony to be calming and uplifting, a way to slow down, ponder, and re-center. This helps me be more productive in the rest of my week, so I see it as an investment of time.

Ceremonial cacao is a drink made from cacao that hasn’t had the butter removed. The cacao has been lightly toasted and fermented, so it’s less processed than cocoa. There are numerous health benefits attributed to ceremonial cacao, but I don’t know how much its properties have actually been researched. I’ll just say that I feel great after I drink it. I purchase mine from Soul Lift Cacao, though there are several great sources.

Unlike, say, a cup of hot chocolate, ceremonial cacao has little to no sweetener. I put a small amount of honey in mine after the cacao cools a bit (raw honey is never meant to be cooked), but I’m moving gradually toward no sweetener. The flavor is bold because of the amount of cacao used.

Here’s how I do my personal cacao ceremony:

  1. Before chopping the cacao, I take a good, long sniff of it. It helps set the tone for my brain that the ceremony is coming.
  2. I gather my materials, including good, filtered water, spices such as cinnamon, vanilla, and a pinch of chili powder, and a special cup and saucer that’s fancier than my everyday teacups.
  3. I chop the cacao into small pieces so it melts more easily. I use 1/4 cup, but if you’re starting out, start with less. Too much too soon can cause the body to rebel.
  4. I heat the cacao with some of the water in a double boiler, heating it gradually and adding the spices.
  5. Once it’s heated, I take it off of the stove, let it cool for a few minutes, then add the honey.
  6. I then pour myself a cup and go to a quiet space with my planner.
  7. For planning, I use the Dreambook Planner by Dragontree. It works great with the spirit of cacao! You may have your own favorite, but the Dreambook Planner helps me set goals and intentions, but also acknowledge gratitude and self-care.
  8. Once I’ve settled in, I say a prayer of thanks for everyone who grows, processes, and ships the cacao to me. I also ask for guidance from angels, guides, and the Fair Folk.
  9. I review my week to see what I’ve accomplished, what I learned, what stressed me, etc. I also look at my monthly and quarterly goals to see how I’m doing.
  10. Next, I use this information to think about the coming week.
  11. While I’m doing these reviews, I take small sips of the cacao after each section to let it in. I think one of the biggest benefits is the process of slowing myself down.
  12. Once I’m finished, I give a prayer of thanks again and close the ceremony with a sip of cacao.

Since I’ve been doing this, I find myself more creative, more disciplined, and less scattered. If you feel so inclined, give it a try!

How Are You? Life in the Age of Coronavirus

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In the middle of March we fled New York City, where we’d spent the winter while the kitchen in our Hudson Valley house was being remodeled. I figured we’d be away for a few weeks until the hubbub died down. It’s mid-July and we haven’t yet returned.

Here in the rural Hudson Valley, we have zero active cases of Coronavirus, but we have not forgotten the horrors of springtime here. I still haven’t gotten a haircut, even though I can (the husband is getting one on Friday, so we’re getting there). When I’m out on my walks, locals have no problem wearing masks or keeping their distance.

Our lives have changed far less than many of our our loved ones. We both worked at home and are fairly introverted. My husband still has his job. And yet, we are anxious, as most are. We worry about friends and family in Texas and Florida, where cases are spiking. We worry about those who are hungry or fear being so.

Anyway, I wanted to say hello to any of you who happen to read this blog. I am thinking of you and hoping you are all well and safe. I have other posts to make for the future about Jane, the Factory Girl, but it seemed most important to me, as I return to the blog and other social media, to just tell you I care. We will get through this somehow, but it’s easier when we get through this together.

Sending hugs to all.

V is for Vitality #AtoZChallenge

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We’re entering the final week of the AtoZChallenge. While I’ll be ready for a break, I’m so glad I did this! Thanks to all for your thoughtful comments. It’s been so nice to have readers. I appreciate you!

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IMG_3503Vitality doesn’t come easily for some of us. I grew up a sickly child, with chronic strep throats, one of which caused a serious kidney ailment. One of my earliest memories was a visit to the hospital. I was upset because at mealtimes, they wanted to feed me. I was a “big girl” who fed myself at home. I remember turning my head to the side in disgust.

After years of long-term antibiotics, I had made it through childhood, but with some residual problems. Most notably, I struggled with fatigue. In my late 30s, this escalated to full-blown Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, disabling me for several years.

So these days, when I write about my garden or my travels, I write with a deep and abiding gratitude for the health I have now. It was a long journey, and sometimes even now I experience waves of fatigue…but they don’t last, and most of the time I have an energy and fitness level of someone much younger.

When I find an edible weed or flower, or try some vegetable I’d never seen before (celeriac comes to mind), I am filled with delight. Each nourishes and strengthens me. These days I am, as much as possible, eating seasonally, and definitely from the garden! Yesterday’s lunch included a leek soup (awesome recipe, by the way!) with leeks from the back yard, along with a side of steamed Swiss chard, with its tender spring leaves.

The more I discover food as medicine, the better I feel…and the less I want those foods that don’t nourish me. That’s not to say I never have them. Last night I ate a piece of fudge and enjoyed it very much, thank you. I’m not fanatic. But there seems to be greater balance in my life these days.

Vitality brings with it a sense of adventure. Trying new foods, I feel like that little kid who played with her Easy Bake oven. Fortunately, my husband will eat whatever I put in front of him. Sometimes the food is so good we could cry.

I hope, as we’ve traveled together this month with my garden musings, this sense of adventure has come across. This life, a holistic life filled with fresh food, much of it from my yard, has brought me many gifts. The greatest is a sense of vitality.

And vitality is what I wish for all of you.

Love Letter to the Moon #moonlover #ayurveda #fullmoon #IWSG

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IMG_3437Moon, you know I am an inconstant lover. I commit to you, and then I get busy and harried, then forget. May this love letter to you breathe into me new commitment.

Twenty years ago, while recovering from a strange illness that left me without a voice for six weeks, I woke in the night and saw you, in your fullness, in your brilliance, and I lost my heart. I want to be with you, I said. I want the freedom to stay up at night, as I did that night, to just watch you, with nothing else to do.

It was a prayer, though I didn’t know it at the time. You did…and you answered. Every month, you waxed and waned, sometimes hiding behind clouds, other times shining over the water. You gave me a glimpse of your power and mystery, and you reached out with your glow to touch my face with support and loving care.

Yet I have been disconnected from you, moon. I lost sight of you except for an occasional glance at the night sky, when you rise over the water and command my attention. I lost you when I lost my female cycles. It never occurred to me at the time that those cycles still exist within me, and you are the key.

Women who study Ayurveda, a sister science to yoga, believe the moon is important to women. The New Moon is for introspection, they say, and the Full Moon is for clarity, power, and manifestation.

A few months ago, when I added more Ayurvedic practices to my life, I began to pay attention to you again. I notice higher levels of energy — and agitation — during the full moon. It’s no surprise to me that this week, as you wax toward your full glory, I am carting bags of compost and manure into the garden. I am weeding and feeding my fruit trees. I am writing busily and happily. I feel strong and alive.

In a few weeks, when you wane to near-darkness, I will begin my period of spring cleansing and reflection.

What if I can reconnect to your rhythms? What if I can dance once again with your ebb and flow? Do I stare stare full in the face of magic? Do I claim my right to know your mysteries?

I will walk this path to find you, and then I will know the answer to those questions. I send you my love, mysterious moon, and I glide in your river of sweet, soft energy.

For more on this month’s full moon, visit these websites. I am not into astrology, but some of them are fun anyway. Enjoy!

http://www.universetoday.com/119164/the-mini-moon-cometh-catch-the-smallest-full-moon-of-2015-this-thursday/

http://www.mysticmamma.com/full-moon-in-virgo-march-5th/

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/full-moon-in-virgo-head-versus-heart-tug-of-war/

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I am grateful for finding the Insecure Writers Support Group. We’re starting the A-Z Blog Challenge in April, but already I’m feeling the love. We also have a monthly group post, and today’s the day. Thanks, all!

InsecureWritersSupportGroup2

Challenge Badge 2014

 

 

Spa on a Budget: Creating Your Own Retreat

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All week I’ve written about my spa adventure. Not everyone can afford it (I couldn’t for many years), and I can’t always get away for several days. Yet taking care of ourselves is a gift not only for ourselves, but for those we love. As they say, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

The good news is that we can do a lot for ourselves at home for little or no money! Some of the activities that I suggest below may sound obvious, but often it’s the obvious that disappears from our brains when we’re stressed.

The suggestions that follow can be done on their own if you just have a few minutes, or you can set up a daylong or multi-day retreat, depending on available time. If you have children at home, maybe arrange an exchange with a friend — you watch their kids while she retreats, and vice versa. Pick a few items off the “menu” below, or use them to inspire your own ideas.

So let the dust bunnies collect. Let the rest of the family fend for themselves. Take a deep breath, and enjoy!

The Spa Food Experience

If you’re taking time to relax, you’re not going to want to do a lot of cooking, and you’ll most likely want to eat light, healthful meals. Gather your food items together before you start the retreat!

  1. Fresh Fruit
  2. Cut up veggies
  3. Whole grain crackers
  4. Soups
  5. Light sandwiches
  6. Tea
  7. Dark chocolate
  8. Wine (why not?)
For some lovely spa recipes and home spa ideas, take a look at Asian Secrets for Health, Beauty, and Relaxation by Sophie Benge.

Body Care & Relaxation

When our bodies are tense, we can’t think clearly. The first step is to relax!

  1. Start with a hot bath — We women also may spend our time caring for others and forget this simple but effective tool for relaxation. Add essential oils, bubble bath, or Epsom salts to create a luxurious soak.
  2. Stretch — When I taught yoga, several students said, “I used to do these poses when I was a kid. I just didn’t know it was yoga.” You can certainly take a yoga class if you want and can afford it, but feel free to put on some music and let your body move the way it wants to. Imagine yourself as a cat, making slow, languid movements.
  3. Walk — Walking is, by far, the best mental health support I can give myself. Yes, you read that right! I love yoga, but walking gives me even more mental clarity. When I’m writing intensely, I take periodic walking breaks throughout the day. If you’re feeling really tired and just want to chill on the sofa, try a short walk instead. You’ll be surprised how refreshed you can feel.
  4. Massage — For free, exchange massage with a friend or lover. Even if you’re alone, you can massage your hands, feet, arms, and legs easily. If you have a few bucks, try out a student at a massage school. While a student lacks experience, he or she really wants to do a good job, and I’ve had some fine massages from students.
  5. Want to get into scrubs or facials? You can make your own! Organic Body Care Recipes: 175 Homemade Herbal Formulas for Glowing Skin and a Vibrant Self by Stephanie Tourles provides many recipes that are easy to make. I make my own skin cleanser, moisturizer and hair conditioner from this book, and there are lots of goodies to try! Have some girlfriends over and have a facial party!

Mind and Spirit Care

When the body relaxes, the mind can follow more easily. Try these methods to calm and soothe the nerves.

  1. Environment — Think about what physical items cheer you. Fresh flowers? Candles? Soft music? A cup of hot tea served in a pretty cup? Even if your retreat space is just a corner of one room, make it beautiful. Clear the clutter and enjoy.
  2. Nature — This goes along with environment, but often a visit outdoors, to a park, a waterfront, or just a grove of trees brings on a relaxation response.
  3. Meditate — I can hear some of you groaning. I can’t tell you how many people have told me, “I can’t meditate!” Of course you can…you just need to know the secret of good meditation. It’s showing up! Yes, you will have thoughts. Don’t worry about them. Just focus on the breath and let the thoughts be. Let them float by like clouds. There are many good recordings if you want guided meditations to help you. Even if we just have five minutes, it’s five minutes we seldom take for ourselves.
  4. Journal — Keep a journal during your retreat. Jot down thoughts and ideas as they come to you. If you’re going through struggles, write about them. Don’t worry about the quality of the writing. If your thoughts are petty, that’s fine, too. You’ll feel better when you get them on the page.
  5. If you are religious, take some prayer time. Take out your rosary, your mala beads, your prayer shawl, or whatever helps you get in the mood for that Higher Power connection. Let yourself be supported in spirit, and let your burdens be lifted from you.

As we jump into this holiday season, I hope you’ll take some time to nurture yourself. You’re worth it! See you next week!

At the Spa, Part II: Direction of the Heart

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As I continue to explore and share my week at the spa, I recognize that many people do not have the time or money to enjoy such a retreat. For many years I was one of those people, and I’ve never forgotten my many years of financial struggle. This week, for Friday Fun, I’ll share some of the ways I found to enjoy spa treatments and mini-breaks at home or for little money.

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The Italians have a phrase: Il dolce far niente, or, the sweetness of doing nothing. For a former Midwesterner with a strong, Puritan work ethic, that phrase doesn’t bring a smile to my lips. Instead, it brings terror to the heart.

I am exactly where I want to be.

Over the years, I have learned that I get more done not from pushing and striving, but from relaxing and reflecting. Yes, work has to be done, but the more I nurture myself, the less it feels like work, and it becomes like the play of childhood. In my second full day at the spa, I am opening to nothingness. I have no appointments, no one to see and nothing to do. Yet my brain is humming in the background, processing my intentions for being here.

I seldom use the word “intention.” I prefer the lovely Hebrew word, kavanah, or “direction of the heart.” While I don’t want to turn this retreat into another job (something I’m good at doing), I took some time Monday afternoon to define my kavanah. What is the direction of my heart? Where is it leading me now? When I am feeling confused, anxious, and/or depressed, it often means that I have strayed from that direction. As I spend time in solitude, I can stop, breathe, and make a course correction.

I made notes, starting with my feelings: confusion about general life direction, anxiety, desire to withdraw, sense of failure, etc. The gist of it is that I’m about to have a birthday, and my desire to leave a legacy gains increased urgency with each new year. As a writer, that means books — or does it? Right now, it’s all on the table, though I am open to letting the writing take a different form, or changing my approach to writing and marketing. Am I forging a new path, or do I just need to clear the brush from the one I’m already on?

To answer those questions, I wrote a loose plan for the next few days to create a retreat environment. I scheduled spa treatments on my first full day here in order to release body tension as quickly as possible. This will help me think more clearly and make decisions. In addition, I plan to read, knit, swim, wander the grounds, and write my impressions. I also reminded myself that I have subscribed to Julia Cameron Live, so I can access Artist’s Way exercises — which never fail to unblock me.

Finally, I wrote answers to the question, “What do I want?” I want clarity of purpose, return of motivation, emotional strength to deal with my current challenges, and an action plan for when I return home. It doesn’t have to be a long plan, just a few next steps.

With intentions defined, my focus for the next few days will include working with them, and working with the blocks and fears that have gotten in the way. I’ll be using my new “Feed Your Demons” meditation technique to do that.

In the meantime, I’m also enjoying room service with fabulous food and tasty wine!