Nadine Feldman, Author

celebrating strong female characters and whatever else strikes my fancy

gardening

The Autumn Garden

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We returned home from New York in the dark Sunday night, so I couldn’t see my yard. From the streetlight I could tell that my fruit trees still had leaves, but that was all I knew. Monday morning I started my grocery shopping list, so I took a tour of the back yard to see what food I could gather there. Only the hardy kale volunteered, though some cold-weather lettuces are getting close to ready. The strawberry plants are full and lush, though few berries remain. The zucchini has finished its run, and a single delicata squash provided a feast for a slug because we weren’t here to harvest it first. My first attempt at growing pumpkins was a failure. I make a note to take some soil samples to see if I can learn why. The rest is mostly cover crop, planted to nourish the soil and prevent erosion in the coming winter months.

Our massive fig tree went from a full crop of leaves to nothing in the two weeks we were gone, and the strong autumn maritime winds make it seem to shiver in its nakedness.

I find myself feeling startled. When I left, autumn was teasing us, but now she has taken over. I guess spending 18 days away will do that.

Inside, I shift gears to indoor projects. I have surrounded myself with stacks of manuscripts that need my attention. On the floor to my right is a pile of books about writing and permaculture. My iPad is stacked with novels waiting for me to explore them. In front of me are knitted pieces of a future bedspread, and I’m digging through the house in search of a cutting mat for a quilt kit that has gathered dust for too long. I hand hubby a pile of papers that need to be sorted through and scanned. You know there’s too much clutter when the stack of paper covers up a big chocolate bar!

After 30 years of living in Houston, where the seasons were hot, hotter, and a few days of bitter cold where the leaves just fell off all at once without changing color, I still feel a sense of wonder about being in a place where each season has its distinct flavor. I settle in. I plan my projects. I grab a comforter and a cup of tea.

Sitting…Listening

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I took my knitting and went outside, where I found a shady spot on the wall at the bottom of a slope. My purpose? To sit and observe. I would knit a row, then look around, watching the patterns of the sun. I studied where rain water drains into an easement. I enjoyed the view of the tree, where deer often rest when they need relief from the heat.

I am starting to learn about permaculture. At its micro level, permaculture is a design method that utilizes strategies to get Nature to do much of the gardening work. By enriching soil, guiding water, and combining a variety of plants, garden yields can increase while workload decreases.

One of the first principles of permaculture is to observe. As we spend time in our yards, we learn little details about them that will help us later. No planning, no judging, no ideas, just listening. There will be time for action and planning later in the process.

At the same time, I am entering into the deep woods of menopause, waking more at night with hot flashes and night sweats. While I take herbs to help provide relief, this is a time of withdrawing and observing. I am told that when I get to the other side of the turmoil, I can then figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. For now, though, I need stillness and solitude and rest. It’s been one reason that my blog has been so hit and miss. While I like engaging with my readers, I am going through a powerful transformation and have to let go of what I think I “should” be doing.

Yesterday, after a relaxed morning, a loved one needed my emotional support. Because I wasn’t exhausted, I could be fully present and helpful. Last night, before bed, hubby and I lay a blanket out on the deck so we could watch the stars. It was a perfect night, with the Milky Way revealing itself more and more with each minute we were away from the artificial light. In the Not Doing, we could marvel at the miracles of the universe that are everywhere…something we need to do more and more in these troubled times.

I know that as one delves into permaculture more deeply, there are larger implications for our communities and our world. Already, I have learned enough to blow my mind about the solutions to food and climate issues that already exist. For right now, though, as I say goodbye to the young woman I was and embrace the beginning of my crone-ness, I am content to observe my own land and let it speak to me. My garden and I will grow in our own time and in our own way.

 

 

Random 5 Friday…A Little of This, a Little of That

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It’s Friday, so it’s time for the Random 5! Check out Nancy at A Rural Journal to catch up with a lot of fine bloggers. I’m still making my way through the list, but I’m seeing some quality writing and brilliant photography. Enjoy, and have a great weekend!

Here’s my five:

  1. Cloris Leachman has the town abuzz. She’s been visiting, and the Cloris sightings are everywhere (she even showed up at an open house for a friend’s birthday). We caught a glimpse of her, too, as we passed by one of our favorite restaurants and saw her sitting at a table near the window. She looks amazing! 
  2. I picked the first figs off the tree. The fruit will keep me busy for the next few weeks. Figs are fragile things and can get mushy if left unpicked for too long. I’ve just put a batch of them in the freezer!
  3. I’m oh so close to finishing draft #2 of my next novel. I have about twenty pages left, though I am sure I will need to add more to the end. I’m wrapping it up waaayyyyy too fast. I was hoping to finish this draft by the end of August, and it looks like I may make my goal, even with adding more scenes!
  4. The sun has returned after two rainy days. We took a walk in the rain yesterday, and it was glorious! It made a mess of my hair, but I didn’t want to put my hood up…it was like getting a nice, misty facial.
  5. Just as I woke this morning, I learned from American Express that someone tried to use my card number yet again. I’m grateful that the good folks at AmEx are on top of these things, but I’m annoyed at what will be the third replacement in just a few years. Worse, it creeps me out that any time someone attempts a fraudulent charge, it’s for something that I might actually purchase. Are these creeps reading my blog? Makes me wonder.

Here’s a bonus for friends who may be going through menopause. I’m going to be listening to a webinar this coming week. If you’re interested in learning more about “The Powerful Transition of Perimonopause and Menopause,” take a look at this video here. I hope it’s helpful!

Who Knew? The Joys of Post-50 Life

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When I was a kid, many of the adults told me that I was living the best years of my life. My response was, “I sincerely hope not.” Fortunately, I was right. In my experience, my teens and twenties were the low spot, with each subsequent decade more interesting and enjoyable than the last. The 50s, so far, are the best. I say that in spite of hot flashes and the Second Coming of Zits. Yes, every now and then I feel a little creaky, and some nights I don’t sleep so well. Still, here are some of the ways life has changed in the past four or so years:

  1. Surprise, Surprise! Those of you who read my blog and my endless blathering about my garden may not realize that I never got my hands in the dirt until I was 51. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with my garden. Knowing that new passions are always available, no matter what the age, is priceless.
  2. Self-Acceptance Trumps Self-Improvement. The funny thing is, when I stopped pressuring myself to do and be more, it just started to happen. Improvement is fine, but it’s not the goal. I wish I had learned this lesson when I was younger. I would have saved a lot of money on personal growth workshops. Of course, sometimes I still lapse into old habits! I am learning to accept that, too.
  3. Better Yin and Yang Balance. We live in a great little town with lots of nice people that I’m enjoying getting to know better. Friendships are developing, and I’m feeling less “rusty” with my social skills. I’m even starting to give parties, something I never thought I would do. Still, I keep an eye on my schedule to make sure I have enough alone time. August has been a people-filled month, so we’ve scheduled some time away in a few weeks. I’m going to the spa!
  4. Giving Back is Fun. In my younger years, financial problems made it difficult for me to make ends meet, let alone share with others. Without that burden, I am more involved in the community, sharing both funds and time. I’ve learned skills over the years that are needed and appreciated, and it’s a joy to have the freedom to share them.
  5. Process, Not Product. While I’m still a Type A personality, my edges are softening. While I still would like to earn at least a modest living as a writer, I’m content to enjoy the process of writing and honing my skills. I’m not pushing myself to finish books quickly anymore…I go at my own pace, and I’m just happy when I solve a plot problem or come up with a better way to bring what’s in my head to the page.

What’s your favorite decade so far?

Let’s Get Messy

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It’s time to get messy.

I’m not talking about the level of messy that I displayed in my bedroom as a teenager, though I continue to be impressed at just how my sister and I managed to cover every inch of floor with clothes, books, and other tripping hazards. I’m surprised, looking back, that neither of us broke any bones in there. The only blank empty places in our room were the dresser drawers.

No, I am talking about the garden. Turns out it’s not a bad thing to be a little messy.

Some of my summer plants are nearing an end, turning brown and dry. Pull them up, you say? Nope. I am leaving them to shelter the fall plantings that I’ve started. The August sun is too much for them, so the older, dying plants make a nice shelter for tender seedlings.

The sweet peas are long past their prime after providing a bumper crop, but I have left the plants in the ground for now as the pea pods turn brown, providing next year’s seeds. (I hope to harvest tomato seeds, but I can’t seem to stop eating the tomatoes long enough to save any.)

My Nasturtiums are dying an ugly death, but it gives pests something to munch on other than vegetables. The other nearby fruits and vegetables are unharmed and unnoticed by little critters because of the Nasturtiums’ noble sacrifice. I can’t blame the bugs. Nasturtiums are pretty tasty with their peppery flavor. Besides, they’re prolific seeders, so I’ll see them again next year without even trying!

According to The Holistic Orchard by Michael Phillips, my fruit trees need an understory. We were trying to hard to keep the weeds under the trees at bay, but this was a mistake! I did some things right by planting berries nearby, but they also would like my dandelions, please, and oh by the way, don’t dig up the lavender that’s spilling outside its borders. When the leaves fall for the season, I will leave them on the ground. A messy understory helps make for healthier trees.

Our sterile, corporate-driven life has made us feel inadequate. We want to look good, smell good, and have a big smile plastered on our faces at all times. We want to be fit, wealthy, and perfect in every way.

Here in the garden, I have a permanent dirt stain in my fingernail beds. The deer have denuded a section of the fig tree because we decided it was okay to share that part of the yard with them. The weeds are starting to grow again under the fruit trees. It’s chaotic, wild, and definitely messy. And that’s okay with me.

 

Random Five Friday

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Thanks to my friend Tina Fariss Barbour of Bringing Along OCD, I have hooked up with Nancy’s A Rural Journal for Random Five Friday. Don’t know what I’m getting into yet, but I’ll see how it goes! I invite you to visit these blogs and participate in Nancy’s Random 5 if you so choose.

My Random Five for the week:

  1. It’s been a great harvest week for the garden. Blueberries, onions, artichokes, and lots of tomatoes! I’ve had a bumper crop of peas and have frozen several batches, but they’re just about done for the year. The pumpkins are blooming and zucchinis are forming. 
  2. I volunteer at the office of our local public theatre, Key City Public Theatre. We’ve had a hectic week, selling lots of tickets to a musical history of the world, The Big Bang, and getting ready for Shakespeare in the Park. My husband is an actor who will be performing in Much Ado About Nothing.
  3. I didn’t write a regular blog post this week. Well, actually I wrote several, but nothing feels ready for prime time. Bear with me. I’m hoping that by doing this Random 5, I’ll get back to a regular routine, including book reviews and blog recommendations.
  4. My latest novel concerns a Manhattan-based financial planner who gets unwittingly swept up in the Madoff scandal. At the same time, her estranged aunt has died and left her a house on *cough* the Olympic Peninsula. Soon I plan to start sharing my draft with you.
  5. I’ve learned that it’s impossible to predict the weather here on the Peninsula. When we lived in Houston, we would not only know that a storm was headed our way, but we would know when it would  arrive. Here, the forecasts are useless. The other day we had a predicted high of 81, but it hit 63. There was no rain in the forecast, but my deck was wet this morning. Go figure.

Have a great weekend! See you next week!