When I was a kid, many of the adults told me that I was living the best years of my life. My response was, “I sincerely hope not.” Fortunately, I was right. In my experience, my teens and twenties were the low spot, with each subsequent decade more interesting and enjoyable than the last. The 50s, so far, are the best. I say that in spite of hot flashes and the Second Coming of Zits. Yes, every now and then I feel a little creaky, and some nights I don’t sleep so well. Still, here are some of the ways life has changed in the past four or so years:
- Surprise, Surprise! Those of you who read my blog and my endless blathering about my garden may not realize that I never got my hands in the dirt until I was 51. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with my garden. Knowing that new passions are always available, no matter what the age, is priceless.
- Self-Acceptance Trumps Self-Improvement. The funny thing is, when I stopped pressuring myself to do and be more, it just started to happen. Improvement is fine, but it’s not the goal. I wish I had learned this lesson when I was younger. I would have saved a lot of money on personal growth workshops. Of course, sometimes I still lapse into old habits! I am learning to accept that, too.
- Better Yin and Yang Balance. We live in a great little town with lots of nice people that I’m enjoying getting to know better. Friendships are developing, and I’m feeling less “rusty” with my social skills. I’m even starting to give parties, something I never thought I would do. Still, I keep an eye on my schedule to make sure I have enough alone time. August has been a people-filled month, so we’ve scheduled some time away in a few weeks. I’m going to the spa!
- Giving Back is Fun. In my younger years, financial problems made it difficult for me to make ends meet, let alone share with others. Without that burden, I am more involved in the community, sharing both funds and time. I’ve learned skills over the years that are needed and appreciated, and it’s a joy to have the freedom to share them.
- Process, Not Product. While I’m still a Type A personality, my edges are softening. While I still would like to earn at least a modest living as a writer, I’m content to enjoy the process of writing and honing my skills. I’m not pushing myself to finish books quickly anymore…I go at my own pace, and I’m just happy when I solve a plot problem or come up with a better way to bring what’s in my head to the page.
What’s your favorite decade so far?
I love this–it confirms what I’m slowly learning myself. My teens and 20s were definitely NOT the best years of my life, and that’s OK. I’m still struggling a bit with realizing that I’m 50, but I’m also believing that good things are happening as I get older. I understand myself so much better, and I am more relaxed about my interactions with others. I’m excited about new passions, too, and learning new things. And I’m excited about my writing because I’m finally dedicating time to it. If publishing a book (or more!) is going to happen, it’s going to… Read more »
I had a tough time at 49. My thyroid wasn’t working like it should, and I felt fatigued and achy. I had a fall down a flight of stairs, and I realized that my injuries healed more slowly than they used to. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to 50! I got the physical stuff back on track, though, and I’m feeling great.
I really hope you write a book. You provide so much hope and help to others by sharing your story in such an authentic way. A book from you would be a great service to others.
oh, this was great to read — thank you! i only just turned thirty last year, but it has definitely been my feeling so far that life improves as i grow older. a very interesting point you raise there about self-improvement/personal growth. does that mean that even if it you don’t make this your main focus/priority, it still happens somehow?? i shall have to ponder that. in the meantime — party on!
Hi, thanks for visiting and commenting! Yes, you have a great deal to look forward to. As for the self-improvement thing, I think about how we treat young children as they are starting to walk and talk and do all those basic things. We clap, we cheer, we encourage while the child is trying new things…and we watch them blossom. If we treat ourselves that way, with patience and love, we will approach life with curiosity and wonder. This creates a more organic, natural development of the unique qualities that each of us brings to this world. Does that make… Read more »
Hi Nadine, terrific post, and at 63 I so agree, tho 2 is sometimes hard to maintain. When I graduated from High School my Mom gave me a book called ‘Try Giving Yourself Away’ by David Dunn, has its own hardcover slip cover, a Post War guide to happiness ‘a tonic for these troubled times’- his intro-“In which is set forth that happier way of living which all of us so earnestly seek and so few seem to find…This is a great pity since the secret lies within ourselves, and its magic can be enjoyed every day without price” he… Read more »
Thanks for sharing your perspectives! Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman who gave you some great values to live by. I agree that being ourselves contributes to the well-being of the world…this is something people can do at any age. We can have an impact in any workplace or other environment. What’s different for me now is that I can choose organizations that are doing good work and donate time and energy to them in greater quantities and with a more direct focus. I’m so delighted that you visit my blog and hope you will continue to do so.… Read more »
I love the self acceptance over self improvement. I think this will be my decade when I let go of judgement and just be!
Jodi, from what I know about you, you are well on your way! You are doing wonderful work in the world, and you radiate a deep inner beauty. Namaste, darlin’.
The wisdom available from life experience is priceless. Thanks for sharing and giving others permission by your own rich example. Co-creating at its best, really.
Thank you! I took a peek at your blog today and am glad you stopped by to say hello here. I like your term “plarking” and look forward to getting to know you better on the blogosphere!
Terrific post. I totally agree. At 53 I could not be loving life more! We totally shook it up and moved to the country last year where I started letting my farmgirl unleash! I love all that I am doing and experiencing. Continue to be happy!
I love it, Debbie! Here’s to “unleashing”! What a great word!
Great post. As a post-50, I’m finally learning to let go. Everything is not a problem to be solved or a puzzle to figure out. And I’m trying really hard to get sleep. At my age, that’s one of the best ways to guard my health. Everything — body and life — works better on days I’m well-rested. Which means I have to let things go especially when I crawl into bed.
Boy, that sleep thing is right on the money! I used to sleep really well, but now I have more difficulty. It makes such a difference!