Nadine Feldman, Author

celebrating strong female characters and whatever else strikes my fancy

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The Artist's Way

One More Walk with Julia

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She looked sad as she moved to the front of the room. For a moment I thought I saw tears in her eyes. Turns out I was right. As author and teacher Julia Cameron took the stage, she opened by telling us about a long-time colleague of hers who had died two days before. She asked us to send prayers and then bravely began the weekend workshop.

This is the level of authenticity I have respected and admired for more than twenty years. Julia has written more than forty books, and she has never tried to present her life as perfect. In her searing memoir Floor Sample, for example, she details her challenges with mental health issues. Yet her honesty never feels self-serving or pitying. It’s life, baby, and the cure for the pain is self-compassion and making art. On that she never waivers.

Having practiced The Artist’s Way all these years, I have experience firsthand how it changes lives. When I first pulled the book off the shelf in the summer of 1997, I was a writer who didn’t know how to start writing. Previous attempts had resulted in a great deal of creative wounding, even from so-called writing teachers.

Seeing Julia again (my third time), I was still surprised at how the simple tools of Morning Pages, Artist Dates, and fill in the blank exercises could pull so much out of me. Late in the weekend I felt breathless, stripped bare. Several days later, I am still processing what happened, noticing subtle and not-so-subtle shifts…everything from deciding to order a decent blender to digging in deeper to my novel-in-progress.

As a long-time veteran, I was pleased to meet so many people who were new to the book. Some had been given a copy years before and felt like the time is now. I was able to share the many changes life had brought as a result of doing this work: several books, with more in process; a college degree at age 45; multiple new interests, including gardening; an amicable divorce (a direct result of doing Morning Pages); and a happier, healthier marriage.

For an entire weekend I got to have “real” conversations with people, tossing aside small talk and pretense in favor of what was in our hearts. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we rooted for each other’s success, regardless of our chosen art form(s).

At the end of the weekend, I felt renewed. And Julia no longer looked sad. Her blue eyes were bright and merry in spite of her grief.

For me, the workshop was a chance to see the master in action once again, and to bring my love and gratitude. I came to The Artist’s Way because I wanted to write. What I gained was that and so much more.

Today It’s All About Me

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Wow, thanks, Jodi Aman of Heal Now and Forever, for the blog award! It’s always exciting to be recognized by one’s peers, especially by someone whose work I admire.

Here’s the catch: To receive the award, I need to write seven things about myself. Seven? I can usually come up with one, especially when I’m trying to make a point, but seven feels monumental. I’ll give it my best shot!

  1. My first name is Beth, after a character in Little Women. I have a sister Amy, also named from the book. Of course, I also have other siblings NOT named from the book (John, Valerie, and Bryan), but I can’t explain that. I have Beth’s shyness and Jo’s bluntness, which don’t mesh well together. I stopped going by Beth at age 33 when I decided I felt more like a Nadine…whatever that means.
  2. I spent years on a spiritual quest and ended up converting to Judaism. I am not into the rituals so much, but I love the emphasis on ethics and integrity, and the concept of tikkun olam (repairing the world) is an integral part of my philosophy.
  3. I grew up in a blue-collar household, where I was taught a strong work ethic. This is where I get my populist leanings and start spitting nails when people speak of the working class as “lazy.” I would challenge any of these pompous politicians, especially one who thinks poor children aren’t being taught to work hard, to spend one day in the shoes of these Americans who give so much and receive so little. Oops, I’m getting political again!
  4. Ill health defined much of my childhood, and in my late 30s, I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for many years. These days I am strong and energetic, and I am grateful, grateful, grateful. This is why I am so into organic, local foods, gardening, yoga, and other forms of stress reduction. Every time I hike a mountain, I remember the years that I couldn’t. I hope I always do.
  5. I graduated from college at age 45. For years I didn’t admit that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, so I would take classes, trying to come up with something else, ANYTHING else, that I could do. Finally I gave up and admitted that good or bad, I write, and I’m not much good for anything else. Because I was still dealing with the ill health in #4 above, I finished via “distance learning” from Eastern Oregon University in an accredited degree program. Better late than never! It was a proud moment for me.
  6. Julia Cameron is my hero. I found her book, The Artist’s Way, in 1997. I had always wanted to write but didn’t know how to get started. Within three weeks of practicing the principles in her book, I started to write, and I haven’t stopped. Her work, which focuses on unblocking creativity, also led me to start quilting, taking photographs, traveling, and more. I thank her not just for the writing, but for opening my life to adventure.
  7. A former co-worker started calling me Spa Woman because I love massages and facials, hot springs, and all other forms of pampering. I liked the nickname, so I use it online frequently as an alias.

As part of accepting this award, I will pay it forward by recommending other great blogs — stay tuned! I will offer those tomorrow as part of my Thursday Books and Blogs entry. Thanks again, Jodi!