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You are here: Home / Archives for positive thinking

positive thinking

Blindsided by Being Bright-Sighted?

January 17, 2012 by admin

I like a book that makes me think, even if I don’t agree with everything the author has to say. Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America is one such book. In it, author Barbara Ehrenreich, best known for Nickel and Dimed, points out the various ways that the positive thinking movement actually causes problems.

She begins by describing her bout with breast cancer and her frustration at finding a place to express her grief. In fact, at one point she gets lectured about her attitude as she tries to get information on the downside of treatment. She tells the story of one woman who freaked out whenever she felt angry or scared because she thought that she was feeding her tumors by feeling this way.  She doesn’t want to look at the bright side of any potential “gifts” of the illness.

I haven’t had cancer, so I can’t tell anyone what to think or feel about it. However, I have had a long illness that was a gift to me. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating and at times infuriating to be sick, but I did see the gift over time, and I’m sorry she hasn’t had that experience. I will agree, though, that we all need to have a place where we can grieve, and even rage when we have to, without having someone try to cheer us up. Once we do that, we are better able to cope with the difficulty at hand.

I think she’s more effective when she starts talking about the workplace. I had a greater understanding for what was happening in the office of my last corporate job. Our director was constantly reading motivational books and demanding that his managers do the same. While this may sound like a good idea in theory, it was really a set-up to make sure that no one complained or brought problems to management’s attention for fear of being labeled “negative.” This sets up a scenario where a corporation stretches the limit of legalities because no one is putting the breaks on — something we have certainly seen in recent years with the burst of the housing bubble.

Ehrenrich’s premise also may explain the current backlash against the unemployed and underemployed — and in particular, an odd lack of compassion toward the working poor espoused by so-called religious people. Herman Cain said in his campaign that the unemployed needed to blame themselves. We blame joblessness on attitudes, ignoring the mass outsourcing that has occurred over the past several years, eroding opportunities. We’ve actually heard politicians state that poor children need to be exposed to a work ethic, ignoring the fact that the working poor are some of the hardest-working Americans that we have. If they change their attitudes, these politicians say, they’ll be more successful.

Still, we can benefit from certain aspects of positive thinking. I used it to heal some of the chronic negative thought-loops that went on in my head when I was younger. Sometimes, to do that, we have to fake it to make it. Studies show, for example, that smiling actually helps us feel better. We can watch comedies when we need a laugh. We can exercise and eat well, creating hormonal balance that helps us find joy. We can surround ourselves with people who love life.

It’s a balancing act, to allow all of our feelings, including the so-called negative ones, without letting them run our lives. Although Ehrenreich doesn’t mention this, I think when we label anger, fear, or sadness as “negative,” we set ourselves up for problems. What we feel is not the problem…it’s how we respond to those feelings. If we accept and allow those feelings to be there without shame, they will move through us and out, often leaving us with greater power and clarity.

While I think that Ehrenreich misses the boat to some degree, I enjoyed reading the book and am grateful to her for the food for thought.

Filed Under: books Tagged With: Barbara Ehrenreich, books, Bright-Sided, denial, positive thinking

I’m Buried in Books — What a Way to Go!

January 9, 2012 by admin

I’m buried in books today. Surrounding me are piles of The Foreign Language of Friends as I ready them for book contests. Entry forms are accompanied by stacks of one, two, or three copies, depending on the requirements of the contest. It’s a busy time of year, with plenty of deadlines early on. I also got the crazy notion a few days ago to enter Blood & Loam into Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest. That means getting all the polishing done in the next few weeks, all while I have to leave my home periodically to let possible buyers parade through. I tell myself I must be crazy, but I have made it a rule to follow my intuition at all times, so I’m up for the challenge!

On my iPad, via Kindle, I’m reading Twin-Bred by Karen Wyle, a wonderful sci-fi book. In Wyle’s fictional world, humans are cohabiting a planet with a species called Tofa, and prejudice and miscommunication abound. In a special project, human and Tofa babies are gestated in host mothers as twins, in the hopes that the special twin bond will help the two species learn how to bridge their differences. It’s a good read, and I especially love the scenes of the little kids as they start to grow up and play, acting like the little kids they are, and not the world saviors they’re expected to become.

Karen is part of my online writing group, the Blooming Late gals of She Writes. If you’re a woman over 40, come on over and visit if you get a chance. There’s a lot of talent in this group!

In addition, Julia Cameron’s new book, The Prosperous Heart, came out last week. Like her masterwork The Artist’s Way, the new book offers simple exercises to unblock us, this time from blocks to prosperity. Though the use of money is examined, this is more a book about feeling that sense of having “enough” in our lives.

I bought it mainly because I want Julia to keep doing what she’s doing, but I didn’t think there would be much for me. I was wrong. These gentle but powerful exercises are already starting to unlock parts of my brain, giving me new and surprising ideas for marketing my work as well as the work of other writers who deserve to have readers find them. Though Cameron’s process is spiritual, it is also practical, which appeals to my active left brain. The book does NOT promote positive thinking, but rather positive action. As I go along, I’ll keep you posted on my progress with this 12-week program.

Speaking of positive thinking, Barbara Ehrenreich, author of the laudable Nickel and Dimed, has written some not-so-positive things about the positive thinking movement that now pervades our workplaces, churches, and financial institutions in her book Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking is Undermining America. In coming days, I’ll write more about this book, which I’m still “chewing” on. I don’t agree with all of it, but she makes some excellent points that are worth examining.

Finally, as I promised last week, I’ll write more about Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles. Last week, when I wrote about my weight loss intentions for the year, some readers resonated with my fear of success. “Why do we do that?” a reader asked. Well, maybe we can figure that out. Pressfield’s book provides a great foundation for examining this block, which seems particularly difficult for women. Whether we’re losing weight, writing books, or have other goals, Pressfield’s advice can help us move beyond self-sabotage.

At any rate, these and other books that I’m reading should make for some lively discussion. What are you reading?

Filed Under: books, fiction, women Tagged With: Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, Barbara Ehrenreich, Blood and Loam, books, fiction, Foreign Language of Friends, Julia Cameron, Karen Wyle, novels, positive thinking, Steven Pressfield, Twin-Bred, women, women's fiction, writing

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