hats

When a teacher of mine suggested that I find a more narrow focus for my blog, I said, “Well, it’s for women at midlife and beyond, and we’re complex.” I am interested in too many things to limit myself, and I think many women of my age feel the same way. I decided, then, that I would meander a little, exploring and sharing whatever I found interesting — and to trust that the audience I would attract would be those women, and some men, apparently, who aren’t just interested in One Thing.

I was absolutely certain about One Thing, though. “I won’t EVER write about fashion!”

I meant it at the time. I don’t enjoy shopping, and I’m not particularly girly. But then I discovered hats and made an exception. Once done with that, though, I retreated once again into my declaration. I won’t EVER write about fashion again!”

Wrong.

I figured I came well prepared to Washington State with my convertible pants for hiking and multiple layers. In this part of the world, we’re a pretty casual bunch, so even though I have limited wardrobe right now (moving van is headed our way!), I have managed to be comfortable.

Then I noticed that many of the ladies in town wear scarves. Shoot, a lot of the guys do, too, and it gives them that cool, casual European look. “Hmm,” I thought. Even my Puritan brain thought, “Okay, they seem to serve an actual purpose of keeping people warm.”

In the interest of looking as though I’m “in the know,” I purchased a selection of scarves at a local store:

So, I’ve bought a few more hats — also handy to have when the wind blows. Done, right? Now I can move off the fashion topic?

Not so fast.

Last weekend, Port Townsend held its annual Victorian Festival, celebrating Port Townsend’s rich Victorian history. The town is dotted with picturesque Victorian homes and buildings, created at a time when high hopes were held for Port Townsend to become a major center for commerce.

For the festival, many residents enjoy dressing in full Victorian costume for the events that include a fashion show and ball. Here’s a link to some cool local residents who love to dress this way year-round — and no one here bats an eyelash, which is one big reason we love living here.

Hubby and I, being a little late to the party, attended just a few events, and wore our normal wardrobe. We wouldn’t miss the Victorian tea, though. We’ve been to a few at the Empress in Victoria, so we were excited about a local version. This one was held at the Blue Gull Inn B&B, and several of the ladies (hubby was the only guy) were resplendent in gorgeous gowns of taffeta and lace, with hats, gloves, the works. (Note: I apologize I did not get photos of these gorgeous gals. If I run across any, I will pass them along.)

If you haven’t been to a Victorian high tea, run to your first opportunity! Besides sipping elegant teas, you get to eat finger sandwiches and all kinds of goodies. Here’s the dessert tray to entice you:

We had a great time, though I confessed to feeling underdressed and promised my new buds that next year I would be better prepared. After that I started shopping online…I’m thinking a daywear dress and perhaps an evening gown…

Who knew I would be pondering my own Victorian wardrobe? My God, if this keeps up I may end up writing about *gasp* shoes!

A few weeks ago I wrote “Sometimes It’s More Than a Hat,” the story of how I walked out of a New York City boutique WITHOUT a hat that gave me a sense of Streisand-like glamour. I lamented the ways I favor practicality over self-expression, even when I don’t have to.

I heard from a lot of you after writing that post. We all have our hats, it seems, those things we deny ourselves, whether it’s a piece of clothing or a long-desired dream. I’ve learned that even in my 50s, when I think I know myself pretty well, I can find new aspects of self. I discovered at 51 that I like to garden…and now I have discovered a more feminine side. As I hear from more of you on this and other subjects, I realize more and more that the 50s can be a time of continued exploration and unfoldment. It’s a great time to embrace our inner diva!

Even after writing that blog entry, I didn’t actively go looking for a hat. We have a number of boutiques in a nearby shopping area known as The Village, where hubby and I go out to eat. Passing by, I would scan the window displays, but with no luck. I’m not fond of shopping, and though I knew the hat was therapy for me, I wasn’t in a hurry to go get one. The only reason I was in that NYC boutique in the first place is that my stepdaughter Sarah works there!

I met Sarah and her twin brother Joe in their senior year in high school. Shortly after we met, Sarah had a fashion emergency. She was running for homecoming queen and needed a dress. Her father called me at work: “We need a dress tonight. Can you help?”

Sure, no pressure. Never mind that if the kids don’t like me, Henry and I don’t have a future. Never mind that my idea of dressing up is getting out of the yoga clothes to put on a pair of shorts. Never mind that I have zero, and I mean zero, experience with teenagers.

Obviously, we survived, and Sarah looked lovely in a long brown gown as she took the field at homecoming and heard her name announced as queen. I could write an entire blog post about the quirky, humorous campaign she ran, but that’s off-topic. It was a proud moment, and I breathed a sigh of relief at passing the first of what would be many tests.

Fast forward several years. Sarah has graduated from Parsons School of Design and is living and working in New York. We have found common ground, though I do not share her flair for accessories. She makes much of her own jewelry and sells some of her designs. She has a collection of hats, scarves, and other frillies, while I have clothes that roll up easily in a suitcase and are comfortable to wear on hikes. She’s been known to wear her homecoming tiara around the house, just because. She loves to be on camera, and so far has made it to CNN and The Daily Show, while if I see a camera, I tend to run in the other direction.

In fact, when I was taking a blog class a few months ago and my teacher asked me about my blog, I said, “I’m going to write about issues that concern women at midlife. But I am NOT going to write about fashion.”

Well. That was before I met, and walked away from, “THE HAT.”

Though I didn’t know it, hubby and my stepdaughter were on the case, exchanging “top secret” e-mails. On a day when I was recovering from the bad review I mentioned on Monday, an envelope arrived. We knew Sarah was sending a package; she had medical bills that needed to be filed with insurance. Henry tossed it to me and said, “Here, why don’t you open this, and I’ll be right back.” I did, and that’s when the hat fell out. As Barbra said in Funny Girl (and upon accepting her Academy Award for her performance as Fanny Brice), “Hello, gorgeous!”

I have included the proof! Of course, that meant posing for the

camera…

Does a girly girl still lurk inside of me? I have a long way to go before I fully release my inner diva. The Puritan in me runs too deep. But I have my hat. And more importantly, I have my family, who understands when to intervene. They both understood that the hat was a departure for me — and a needed one, at that. What’s next? Scarves? Bracelets? Who knows?

I Said I’d Never Talk About Fashion

Hello, Gorgeous! Great Hat!