When I was eight years old, my grandmother taught me how to knit. I started by making a belt with heavy yellow yarn, and the stitches got so tight I could hardly maneuver my needle through them. Still, I was proud of and excited about my efforts.
Over the years I learned to sew and embroider as well. Once I dressed up a pair of my sister’s blue jeans with an embroidered, multicolored Volkswagen (she owned a bug at the time). I took a couple of years of Home Ec, where I learned to make clothes. My proudest accomplishment was the prom dress I made in senior year, with lots of lace trim.
Those of us who grew up in the 60s and 70s got plenty of mixed messages. While we were learning how to do Women’s Work and make a proper home, we were also being exposed to new choices and possibilities. We learned that we didn’t have to feel tied to Women’s Work. This was a good thing, and I embraced feminism then as I do now.
I learned that engineering and science could be Women’s Work. I saw more and more women enter politics and other fields that were once male-dominated. It was an exciting, heady time.
Here’s the problem, though: I really enjoyed the traditional Women’s Work. I found it fun and relaxing to do. Yet I put it aside, seeing it somehow as oppressive, activities best left behind in the quest for a career.
For years I didn’t sew or do any kind of craft. Later, though, when recovering from a long and difficult illness, I rediscovered the delight of Women’s Work. I learned to quilt and make drapes. In working with fabric, I found healing in my body as well as my soul.
Still, once I got better and went back to work, I left my Women’s Work behind yet again.
Lately, I have found myself weary. I love to write novels, but I find the marketing difficult and tedious. In the midst of our cross-country move, I sent Blood & Loam off to my editor with the instructions to “take your time.” Sales for The Foreign Language of Friends have been flat, in large part because I’m not that consistent with the marketing. It’s still sort of a deep dark secret, actually. Other novel ideas have fizzled out. I have had to take a step back to regroup.
It is time to reconnect with Women’s Work.
Here on the Olympic Peninsula, Women’s Work is everywhere. This past weekend we attended a Fiber and Fabric festival in Port Gamble, where women were spinning on the sidewalks, and I don’t mean with their bicycles! You can get big bags of wool, dyed or not, and spin away. It looked so relaxing, I wanted to run out immediately and get a spinner. Groups abound, where women get together to chat and knit, spin, or quilt — and I am welcome to join.
I bought some fabric to make curtains. I picked out a quilting kit (I decided that to get back in the flow, a kit would be easier), and I bought some yarn to knit a skirt. I have a dedicated place now for my sewing machine, right by a cheerful window, and I’ve started to work.
Of course, a funny thing happens when I start doing Women’s Work. A delicious idea for a new novel bubbled up from the depths of my subconscious. It’s compelling and insistent, and I have to heed the call. Yes, my writing is Women’s Work, but to do it better and more happily, I may need to pick up the needle as well.
Everyone should have a little bag of llama wool to play with when they are stressed — it’s just soooo soft.
You’re right, sweetie. We should have bought one just to cuddle.
Oh, Nadine, we would have so much fun together! I also grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. In fact, I think I had that same dress pattern that I made and thought it was beautiful. Wish I had a picture! Looked just like yours! I also learned and loved Women’s Work. I was taught by my mother and then any elective in school where I had a choice I took home ec. Then I, like you, started a career, had a family, and just didn’t have the time for Women’s work, except the house cleaning and cooking squeezed in… Read more »
Thanks, Nina! I’ve seen some of your creations and have admired them from afar. “Busy yet relaxed” is a state that I would like to achieve. It seems as though I do the busy part really well, but the relaxed, not so much. I’m hoping the clacking of the knitting needles will get me there — they’ve done it before!
Nadine, I loved reading this post! I am so happy that the Woman’s Work brought back inspiration. I also think that creativity in one area can benefit it in another. That material for your drapes is beautiful! I love the colors. And I want to see the skirt when you’re finished. I learned to crochet when I was little, and I still like to do it. I’ve never managed to get the hang of knitting. I do cross stitch, a little embroidery, and a little sewing. My husband gave me a beautiful sewing machine several years ago. I loved playing… Read more »
It’s a bit infectious, isn’t it? It helps me that so many people around here do this work. Same thing with the gardening. I now live in a place where I can ask just about anyone a gardening question, and they don’t look at me cross-eyed.
It feels good to get back into it!
I’m not good at any of “women’s work” activities except knitting!
Knitting is great, though, isn’t it? So relaxing…except when the skein of yarn gets tangled up! I did quite a number on one yesterday, and it took a long time to get it untangled. I guess I’m rusty. Sigh.
Hope you don’t feel I’m copying you if I show up with a post about my sewing group. I was just thinking what you were thinking when the e-mail for my next sewing group arrived this week. I do believe in women’s work. I’m thinking of buying a sewing machine and starting up with that again. Alas, my daughter takes no interest in it.
No, Julie, I think it comes under the heading of “great minds think alike!” I know you’ll put your unique “spin” on whatever you write.
Spinning! Oh I’d love to try that!
It looks like SO much fun! A new spinner is really pricey, though, so I’m going to keep watch for a used one in a thrift store. They show up from time to time.
It’s a giant spoked wheel and pedals and…hmm. I’m looking for building plans on this but will watch the stores too. Let me know if you get lucky! 😀
Nadine, the way I see it, “women’s work” is filled with many creative possibilities. So good for you for regrouping and taking it up again. I consider myself a feminist but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy doing things that are traditionally done by women. I would love to learn how to knit. I’ve read so much about how therapeutic knitting is and trust me, I need something to help me channel stress every now and then! I hope you’ll post a photo of the finished quilt! 🙂
Thanks, Bella! I’m really enjoying knitting again (though I had a small disaster the other night when I was finishing the waistband — yikes!). In the evening, if I was watching TV, I would often find myself playing a computer game, mainly because I needed something to do with my hands! Since I’ve started knitting, not a single computer game. Not one.