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A few months ago, my beloved mother-in-law, Jenny, died at age 78.  She left behind a remarkable legacy of art, both visual and written, that we are in the process of cataloguing and preparing to share with family members.  As I read her journal entries, I find her guiding hand letting me know what information can be shared readily; her opinions are clear.

Jenny grew up in a poor Jewish family in New York City, and her beginnings were difficult.  By the time she was 18, her father, who was chronically ill, was dead.  Her mother died just a few years later, and she was estranged from her only sibling.  Despite these difficulties, she became an accomplished artist, wife, mother, and grandmother whose warmth touched all who knew her.  She was intelligent, funny, and engaging, and she often provided me with much-needed parenting advice.

Jenny left us many details; not just financial specifics or the carefully labeled boxes in her art room, but also details of what mattered to her, what brought her joy, and what brought her pain.  The day before her funeral, we ran across her words about dying and how, though she longed to live for as long as possible, neither God nor anyone else owed her anything.  As we sort through her belongings, the remnants of a full life, I am grateful for the many details she left behind.

We just returned from Wimberley, Texas, one of my favorite places in the world.  We go there whenever there is a need to replenish ourselves, and this was definitely one of those times.  I took with me a series of journals left behind by my late mother-in-law, and I spent time learning more about her hopes, dreams, and regrets.  At the time of her death, she had “get ears pierced” on her to-do list, so at nearly 79 she was still engaged in life!

One of the things I have learned about my own willingness to engage in life is that I sometimes need time away from civilization.  For four nights we enjoyed soft breezes, bright stars, and a level of quiet that does not exist in the city–ever.  In the hammock, the hot tub, or on the sofa, as my mind quieted I was greeted with much new inspiration.  Part of that is to re-start this blog and to reach out into the realms of new media to connect with people.  I am excited about the friends to be made and new opportunities to grow and change.  At 50, I’m ready for this semi-old dog to learn some new tricks.  I hope that when I am gone, my to-do list is as interesting as what my mother-in-law, Jenny, left behind.

I have a lot on my mind, so I thought I would start this blog as a way to express myself and my concerns about life and the world around us.

This week I am feeling hopeful.  The country seems to be shaking off its complacency.  We’re managing to wade through the mire of manipulation by our government and the media to find ourselves and each other.  It’s blogs and other Internet sites that allow us to keep debate and dissention alive.  These fundamentals are essential to the survival of our democracy, and I’m happy to know that we have not become completely numb.