Nadine Feldman, Author

celebrating strong female characters and whatever else strikes my fancy

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Buh Bye, Social Media!

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It’s a crazy idea for an author to leave social media. Or is it?

A few weeks ago I shut off my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I’ve tried this before and chickened out at the end (they give you 30 days to change your mind). So I’m not making any guarantees here.

But this last year has taught me how very important it is to stop the bombardment of messages we get, whether it’s from the news or social media. With an autoimmune disease out of control, an essential part of healing is stress reduction.

To that end, I’ve added two meditation sessions every day, plus a mindfulness practice. And I’ve shut off most of social media.

Authors often depend on social media to get the word out about their books, and I’m no exception. However, I have also found social media to be less effective at that than we might believe. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of posts. I’ve done a little Facebook advertising, but I frankly get annoyed at the number of ads that show up in my own feed. Why would I do something I find annoying when I’m on the receiving end?

I’ll probably hang out more at Goodreads. That seems to make more sense anyway, since I would be connecting more with book lovers. It’s a much more specific audience. As with all social media, the goal there is not to scream “BUY MY BOOK!!!” but to make friends. It’s a bit daunting to feel like I am starting all over again…but it makes sense to me.

I’m also going to trust the adage that the best way to sell books is to write more of them. Without the time drain of social media, I seem to have a lot more time to, well, write.

That’s another reason why I’m hanging out more on the blog again. Here, I can say what I want. People can read it or not, and comment or not. If I get ugly comments, I can delete them. It feels a lot more empowering this way.

Finally, of course, there’s the old-fashioned getting in front of people. That scares the hell out of me. I’m a big-time introvert…but I also think we as a society are losing our social connections, and that scares me more.

Have I cut off my audience? Time will tell. But I have always said that my mental and emotional well-being comes first. I write to express myself, and I hope at some point to find people who to take the journeys within my stories. It’s more fun that way. But making this decision, difficult as it was, feels good.

One More Walk with Julia

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She looked sad as she moved to the front of the room. For a moment I thought I saw tears in her eyes. Turns out I was right. As author and teacher Julia Cameron took the stage, she opened by telling us about a long-time colleague of hers who had died two days before. She asked us to send prayers and then bravely began the weekend workshop.

This is the level of authenticity I have respected and admired for more than twenty years. Julia has written more than forty books, and she has never tried to present her life as perfect. In her searing memoir Floor Sample, for example, she details her challenges with mental health issues. Yet her honesty never feels self-serving or pitying. It’s life, baby, and the cure for the pain is self-compassion and making art. On that she never waivers.

Having practiced The Artist’s Way all these years, I have experience firsthand how it changes lives. When I first pulled the book off the shelf in the summer of 1997, I was a writer who didn’t know how to start writing. Previous attempts had resulted in a great deal of creative wounding, even from so-called writing teachers.

Seeing Julia again (my third time), I was still surprised at how the simple tools of Morning Pages, Artist Dates, and fill in the blank exercises could pull so much out of me. Late in the weekend I felt breathless, stripped bare. Several days later, I am still processing what happened, noticing subtle and not-so-subtle shifts…everything from deciding to order a decent blender to digging in deeper to my novel-in-progress.

As a long-time veteran, I was pleased to meet so many people who were new to the book. Some had been given a copy years before and felt like the time is now. I was able to share the many changes life had brought as a result of doing this work: several books, with more in process; a college degree at age 45; multiple new interests, including gardening; an amicable divorce (a direct result of doing Morning Pages); and a happier, healthier marriage.

For an entire weekend I got to have “real” conversations with people, tossing aside small talk and pretense in favor of what was in our hearts. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we rooted for each other’s success, regardless of our chosen art form(s).

At the end of the weekend, I felt renewed. And Julia no longer looked sad. Her blue eyes were bright and merry in spite of her grief.

For me, the workshop was a chance to see the master in action once again, and to bring my love and gratitude. I came to The Artist’s Way because I wanted to write. What I gained was that and so much more.

Delight!

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When the Fair Folk, the Fae, the Fairies, showed up in the manuscript for Factory Girl, my first impulse was to shoo them away. I had an idea of what the story was about, especially since it is based in part on an actual life.

But the magic of the Fae will not be denied. As with other stories I have written, the story that wants to be told will stomp its feet and hold its breath until I pay attention. Woe be to me when I do not!

As I have finally surrendered to this development, I have moved beyond researching Scottish folk tales and into the play of it. I ordered fairy houses and other delights for my new garden. I am enjoying The Faerie Handbook: An Enchanting Compendium of Literature, Lore, Art, Recipes, and Projects by the editors of Faerie Magazine (now called Enchanted Living). Yes, there is a magazine! Who knew? I’m also reading Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee, filled with art and essays about the Fair Folk.

These new activities are activating something unusual in my ordinarily serious nature: delight. At 60, it appears I am finally reclaiming the joy of childhood.

Yesterday I added some text to Factory Girl where Jane sprouts wings for the first time. It was an extraordinary moment for me. Jane’s life is filled with challenges, and Factory Girl takes a hard look at life in industrial 19th-century Scotland. The magic of Factory Girl does not diminish the harsh realities or even make them easier to bear. Rather, it is about the curious thing that happens in our lives when great sorrow and great joy coexist side by side with each other.

Delight is not about ignoring the suffering of the world. It is about finding that which is beautiful so ugliness does not consume us. It is about finding joy that resides within us even when life is hard. It appears I still have much to learn from the Fae. I’m so looking forward to share with you what they are sharing with me!

Introducing Jane

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My great-great grandmother, Jane Thorburn, worked in the woollen mills of Scotland as a weaver. Here’s what I know about her: she was the oldest child of a coal miner and his wife. By the age of eight she was no longer living with the family, presumably to go to work (though I don’t know for sure). She fell in love with Robert Stein. Together they had a child, my great-grandfather Hugh, who came to America.

And I know when and how she died, though that would be too much of a spoiler alert.

Due to circumstances, she disappeared from the family tree until I stumbled across her in 2014 after doing some genealogy.

Now, I do not consider myself a great genealogist, or even a good one. I tip my hat to those who are. Their persistence and attention to detail is something to be admired!

I am too wired to be a fiction writer. For example, I discovered that a Stein family in that part of Scotland were involved in bad whisky making (and yes, that’s how whisky is spelled in Scotland). My imagination ran wild with all the possibilities.

Then, *ahem*, a distant relative gently suggested that there were no known links to this particular Stein family. I say, never let the truth get in the way of a good story, but that’s not good genealogy behavior.

I’ve been obsessed with Jane ever since. Factory Girl, or whatever I end up calling the darn thing (turns out there are multiple novels of that name), is going through the editing process. As I tried to tease out what Jane’s life might have been like, a group of fairies showed up and I had to deal with them, too. It’s meant reading old Scottish folk tales.

I’m grateful to have found an editor who lives in Scotland and who has even walked the Alva Glen where the old mill once stood, and where Jane, in my story, escaped to be in nature. With her loving care, the story is shaping up nicely, and she is undaunted by the sheer weirdness of this work. It’s outside of anything I’ve ever tried to do before. I am excited and freaked out at the same time.

Look for excerpts soon!

A Writer’s Life is Many Lives #WDC18 #amwriting

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As I come off this year’s Writer’s Digest Conference, I am thinking about how fortunate I am. I get to do work that I love, and when I spend time around other writers, I am among incredibly generous and supportive people. As author Steven James said during his “Story Trumps Structure” workshop, we are in a rare business where people who could be our “competition” come and share everything they know. He likened it to Apple going to Google and sharing all their secrets.

The magic, of course, is that there is  no competition. Each of us has a unique story to tell, so the more of us the merrier. We don’t have to elbow anyone out of the way.

Back home, I am once again immersed in my projects. For one, I am reading about artists, particularly female and self-taught. Think Grandma Moses as one of many examples. I’m also learning to draw and watercolor. I’m not doing this because I want a new hobby, though I suspect I’ll keep at it because it’s fun. No, it’s a way to understand my main character better.

While I continue my research for that novel, I am living (in my mind) in late 19th-century Scotland. This story idea has sent me to Scotland twice and the old mills of Lowell, Massachusetts; introduced me to proletarian novelists such as Elizabeth Gaskell (think contemporaries of Dickens); and introduced me to genealogy.

When I wrote What She Knew, I studied the victims and perpetrators of the Madoff Ponzi Scheme. I was fascinated with the movers and shakers of Wall Street and what would happen if one of them actually grew a conscience.

In short, as a writer I get to live many lives. I get to play dress up and try on new identities. I get to peer inside the heads of my characters, who I grow to love as if they are real people and real friends.

This is a good life. A happy life. A fulfilled life. Last week I met a lot of wonderful writers who share this journey with me, and I am looking forward to getting to know all of you better.

 

Sabbatical

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This is the year I turn 60. Earlier in the year, I started to ponder what I wanted for this new decade. Granted, we can’t control every aspect of our lives, especially at this age, but I wanted to create an intention for what can be a very special time. I considered taking a sabbatical, time to just “be.” I’d start it around my birthday, I reasoned.

During a meditation in April, though, the message was clear: start NOW.

What would a sabbatical look like? After all, I don’t have a day job. The kids are grown and on their own. Somehow the thought of a sabbatical from a life that’s already amazing felt, well, self-indulgent. Lazy. Selfish.

Still. Something needed to change. I needed to re-examine. Did I want to keep on writing, for example? For a few months my work had felt stale, exhausting, and no longer fun. The business of writing is something I have never enjoyed. So I decided to stop. For how long? I had no idea. I shipped two manuscripts off to editors, which got them off of my desk and allowed me to take a break.

After a bit of searching, I found the book Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break by Rachael O’Meara. Using this book as a guide, I set out on my new journey.

In the stillness and quiet that followed, I realized that I had ignored some annoying and sometimes disruptive health issues. Surprisingly, my first act of sabbatical was to seek a functional medicine doctor. This was easier said than done, so while I shopped around I changed my diet, removing gluten, dairy, and refined sugar. This brought some immediate relief, if not full recovery (yet).

Then I looked at ways to have more fun. I took a gardening class to further hone my skills. I took a botanical art class and started drawing for the first time in nearly 50 years. I signed up for cooking classes at a local restaurant. I read.

In the process, I discovered that I missed writing. By the time the first manuscript came back, I was refreshed and eager to write again.

These days my life looks much like it did pre-sabbatical, but in a sense it still continues. I have started taking social media breaks on the weekend. I am part of a meditation group that meets online every full and new moon. I make sure I take a break from exercise every week. My health and enthusiasm are returning!

As O’Meara points out in Pause, not everyone can afford to take time off. But even if it’s time to soak in a bath, or turning off the phone or television, or staying away from social media, we can all find tiny bits of time to unplug and rejuvenate. Even a few minutes of time to ourselves to rest can make a difference. Whatever happens with the arrival of this shiny new decade, hopefully I will take sabbatical rituals, big or small, along with me.

In what ways do you replenish and renew?