Happy Valentine’s Day
On February 14, 2012 | 13 Comments | Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

“So, today’s February 14th?” hubby asks me as we wake up this morning.

“Yep,” I replied.

“You know what that means…Tomorrow’s payday!”

With that, the day begins. Hubby is being silly, of course, as he always is when we first wake up. He’s been known to make up songs that are odes to the coffee he’s making in the morning. Me, I’m not that perky. But I digress.

Hubby and I, as some of you know, met online nearly seven years ago. His profile read something like this: “I’m in the process of getting a divorce and I have custody of 16-year-old twins.” Real “come hither” stuff there. My girlfriends all agreed that the best thing for me to do was to stay far, far away from this guy.

Still, in between the lines I saw something else. First, I saw a guy who was honest. He didn’t try to paint a rosy picture when one didn’t exist. He didn’t lie about his marital status. And despite the obvious challenging circumstances of his life, an optimism bubbled up from his words, and I got the sense that he wasn’t a “project.” He seemed like a guy who could hold his own when the going got tough, and I liked that.

There’s only so much information we can put on those personal profiles about who we are and what we’re about. And, those profiles are a snapshot in time. We never know how a relationship will withstand all the changes that life brings. Change can bring us together or drive us apart. We have been the lucky ones.

Together we fell in love with hiking and the outdoors, leading us to our (soon) move to Washington State. Together we shepherded his children from high school through college and into young adulthood. Together we have buried three loved ones: both his parents and hubby’s best friend of thirty years. Together we have engaged creatively as he writes plays and I write books, and together we have weathered the frustrations and rejection that are a natural part of sharing our creativity with the public.

All this “together” works, I think, because we are both strong individuals with a sense of who we are as people. I don’t look to him to “make” me happy, and he doesn’t expect me to fill some missing piece inside. It’s not that we never disagree or argue, but that we are able to negotiate our disagreements with respect and consideration.

It took me 46 years to find hubby. I’m glad that I saw the deeper worth in that dating profile and ignored my girfriends’ advice. I’m glad I held out for such a delightful companion. My prayer to all of you on this Valentine’s Day is that you find peace and wholeness within yourselves…and, if you choose to be in a relationship, may you enjoy the bounty of it as I have enjoyed mine.

 

 

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